Politics is such an ugly sport, unlike baseball. Baseball is life-sized chess with cleats.
Baseball is also America’s pastime, and politics is not. Politics is America’s wasteland. And politics in a presidential election year is even worse. All of which leaves the American public hungry for something good, something original, and something fun. Something like this self-promo campaign from the Texas Rangers.
Stand with the entire alphabet, stand with the Rangers. Zingers. They’re like sliders thrown by the copywriter.
Now more than ever, we need a team that embraces one planet—Earth!
According to Maritime law, it’s illegal for a moose to operate an aquatic vessel.
Call us old-fashioned, but we like classical Newtonian physics—we believe baseball teams should exist in one place at one time.